Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
