Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
