you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
