yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
