i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize