I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
