it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize