I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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