You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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