do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
