I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
