when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
