You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
