last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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