Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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