Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
