marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize