Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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