Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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