dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
