I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
