good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
