It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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