nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
