I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
