We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
