Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
