I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
