i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
