i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
