im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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