ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My feet surprised me
Randomize
