Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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