I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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