The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
