We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
