So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
