so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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