I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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