Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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