I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
