Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
