there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
