1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
