We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
