Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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