pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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