Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize