I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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