dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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