He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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