i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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