Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
