Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
