i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You are the jesus of drinking
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
