She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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