Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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