Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
