i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
