"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
