i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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