I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize