i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm jealous of your bromance
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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