I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize