Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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