Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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